So what all is this?

Technology hates me. I don't know why. It just does.

All manner of electronic wonders have malfunctioned within the confines of my home. Cell phones, DVD players, TVs, stereos, Playstations, computers. You name it and it has fizzled and died on my floor. I'm like leprosy for high tech items, I touch them and instantly they begin to crumble and fall apart.

No, thanks, I don't want to play with your Iphone. Damn thing'll explode in my hand and I'll be owing you a chunk of money. I'll pass.

I roll lean. 

I have a giant f*ck off cellphone that I've carried for four years. I'm totally satisfied with the old school, long Ipod shuffle my brother got me for Christmas years ago. I own a ghetto blaster. I have CDs. Hell, I even have cassette tapes. Basic technology functions fine around me. It's all I can use.

Hence the drawings on this blog are made on Microsoft Paint, the electronic equivalent of sticks and stones. 

That said I just bought the new Itouch. So far so good. I just spent three hundred bucks to throw cartoon birds at little green pigs. Best investment I've ever made.

By the magic of my new I-thingy I bring you a decoy coyote in the wild. Note the intent stare and realistic bushy tail. Also note the single peg leg. I'm totally slapping an eye patch on this guy.

Apparently the decoys are the animal friendly method to discourage the geese from hanging out behind office buildings and crapping all over everything. There are also decoy crocodiles. I hope they get those where I work too. 

I've been dating this particular Precor for the past few months. Between work, the gym and hating on those little green pigs I haven't posted as much as I should. I've also been holding back because it takes a long damn time to make the pictures on Paint.

In the interest of providing more content I'll be adding freehand drawings and photos from the Itouch to supplement my ramblings. 

Stay tuned...

Hey There. Hi.

So much for updating every week...

It's like trekking all the way through the burning lands of Mordor to find out the great red eye is taking a smoke break....well, ok, maybe not all that...but close. You've been showing up but I haven't been updating.

Lately I have been putting all my creative drive into my first novel The Spark. After catching the Stewie-Brian "how's that book coming along" bit a few times I knew I had to push all projects aside and focus.

Which kind of sucks because I've had a few other wild ideas I've neglected to share in the meantime.

Like, why is all the good Valentines schwag gone by the 1st of February? WTF is up with that? I was literally in CVS on the 1st and the shelves looked barren.

There were Valentines squids, hissing-heart adorned possums and the few teddy bears that remained looked like they limped out of the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan. Some missing limbs, some carrying them.

It isn't as if I waited to the absolute last minute.Valentines Day was two weeks away and already the stores had replaced the teddy bears with Easter Bunnies and the heart shaped chocolates with Peeps. 

The new way of the world; the ongoing, ever bolder encroachment of one holiday onto the next. Its why you hear Jingle Bell Rock on the friggin' radio in early November.

I propose a push back. If you are picturing turkeys chasing elves back into December then you are beginning to see what this would mean. War of the Holiday Icons. COMING SOON!!!