The Reindeer Teeth Story

Worcester, Baby
Twenty some odd years ago
December

 I saw a reindeer, its teeth at least, floating outside my bedroom window.

We lived on the second floor of a triple decker.  It wasn't snowing and there were no trees or telephone poles outside that particular window.  Just a bunch of open yard.  What I saw was massive and white; and it may well have been the wind blowing a sheet off the upstairs laundry line but at the time I was positive, possibly still am, that I saw reindeer teeth.  So I ran.  In retrospect I see where this could have gone tragically wrong.

Whatever those giant choppers belonged to it was not Rudolph the small smiled, petite reindeer with the doe eyes and the shiny nose.  Nope.  Those teeth belonged to a flying Great White shark of a creature and I was just a little bit of a thing in feety pajamas...and I was running outside.

I have no idea why I went outside but Point A to Point B could have been pretty grim.  Thankfully I hadn't looked up.  If I had I might have lingered at the door with a look on my face, maybe darted out ten feet and attempted retreat, followed by some crawling, some backward crab shuffling and of course the obligatory one stair at a time up to street level.  It would have taken forever, I would have been an amuse-bouche.

Maybe the beast was a vegetarian, but with those pearly whites I doubt it.  Maybe it had been full, stuffed from a night of punishing those on the naughty list.

I made it down the street to the neighbors house and knocked on the door until I woke someone up.  I explained about the reindeer teeth.  I was retrieved by my parents shortly thereafter.  We drank cocoa.  I went back to bed.  It all worked out.

One Christmas after that I remember the Disappearing Santa rule came into play.  Adults explained that Santa was on a tight schedule and would not show up until all the kids in the house were asleep and that if you so much as peeked at Santa the jolly red fella would disappear.  Sometimes he took the toys back too.

I was a little afraid of Santa Claus as a child.  He knew stuff.  And that will be the topic of the next post...